The Life of a Father of Five

And So Starts the Christmas Season

2009-11-14T08:24:00.001-06:00

And let me tell you... Nothing makes me sicker than even THINKING about Christmas before Thanksgiving... but this year I made an exception. One single and special exception.

As previously noted in...

A Christmas Treasure

A Christmas Treasure Part 2

I have a certain affinity for a couple of very specific versions of Charles Dickens' story "A Christmas Carol". Couple that with a low tolerance for different versions, and you end up with a recipe for an "A Christmas Carol" snob. Let me spell it out for you. As far as I am concerned, there are four acceptable versions of the story.

First and foremost - there is the original and unabridged Charles Dickens manuscript. The book, if you will.
Then, there is my "all-time-never-to-be-replaced favorite version", the Lionel Barrymore version recorded on MGM records in 1955 (which IS NOT the "Campbell's Playhouse" version - although they are very similar.)
My third favorite version, is the 1951 film "Scrooge" staring Alastair Sim - (the black and white version).
The fourth version that is "acceptable" (in my humble opinion) is another audio only recording. It is the 1941 version recorded by Decca records that stars Ronald Coleman as Ebenezer Scrooge. It's sort of my "back up" audio version.

So, when I first noticed the television commercial for Disney's A Christmas Carol (available in digital 3D) I was apprehensively curious about it. I viewed it as another potential version bound for nether-regions of my mind as "forgettable", yet on the other hand, the previews sure seemed good.

My dad and I share similar opinions on the different versions of "A Christmas Carol". The above listed versions have been a big part of our family rituals growing up, and (I am fairly certain) they are as meaningful to him as they are to me. So, for his birthday, we took my Mom and Dad out - and saw "Disney's A Christmas Carol - in digital 3D" to give it a try.

We saw it last week (which is way ahead of my "No Christmas before Thanksgiving" rule) - but given the prospect of my schedule, the Mother of Five's schedule, and my parent's schedules - it was "speak now, or forever hold your peace" (i.e. violate my own rule).

First off, it was so much fun seeing A Christmas Carol with my parents! As kids they used to take us to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts screening of the Aliastair Sim film "Scrooge". It was a holiday tradition of ours for MANY years. Somewhere along the line (for us boys it's called the three W's... Work, Women, and Wheels), or was it that the Art Institute stopped playing it (I do not remember) - but somewhere along the line, the tradition ceased...

Secondly... My thoughts on the movie.

(Spoiler warning... in as much as you can be "spoiled" on the story of Ebenezer Scrooge... I think most people know how it ends...)

First off, I have never seen a 3D movie before. It was quite the experience. Given our four choices - 2D regular theater, 3D regular theater, "Muller Monster Screen" (2D)**, or Imax 3D (at almost twice the price) - we chose the 3D regular sized screen.

** The Muller Monster Screen is a screen that is 80 feet wide (twice as wide as my house) and 35 feet tall (3 stories tall). It is the largest theatre screen in Minnesota, and the auditorium seats nearly 600 people in high back rocker chair seats.

Watching this movie in 3D (and my first experience in 3D) did have some affect on my opinion (both good and bad).

The imagery was nothing less than STUNNING. The flyovers of late nineteenth century London was quite amazing. In the days of natural gas and LP heating, we forget what a densely populated city in a cold climate would look like with all the houses burning wood and coal. Tufts of black soot spewing from rooftops as far as the eye could see!

The Character of Ebenezer Scrooge was done very well. Despite his exaggerated features (hook nose and extended "witch like" chin) - it fit well within the movie.

Again, the 3D was quite amazing, but I did feel that (at times) the story itself was modified to take advantage of the 3D. There has always been flying over the city in the story, but sliding over rooftops, with icicles flying at him, or shrinking and sliding down downspouts and gutters??

Jim Carey as Ebenezer Scrooge (not to mention several other characters)? Wonderful performance. I do enjoy Jim Carey, and his portrayal of Ebenezer was truly enjoyable. I can not confirm this fact, but you can almost hear his enthusiasm for this roll coming through his voice.

And the story... The story itself stayed pretty close to true. I counted three of the scenes I have always felt important (even though not all of them were part of the ORIGINAL book) to the story that were missing...

#1 - Ebenezer's Sister Bell's deathbed request that Ebenezer take care of her son Fred. She died just after giving birth, and whispers her request with all that she has left - only to NOT be heard by Ebenezer. Scrooge's realization that he did not fulfill his sisters deathbed wish, and understanding that he blamed Fred for the loss of his sister is a crucial turning point in Ebenezer's "turn".

#2 - Jacob Marley's Deathbed scene. Although the movie starts with Ebenezer and Jacob's undertaker with Jacob laying in a wooden casket shows Ebenezer's lack of caring for his fellow man - it does so only after his best friend has died. I think an important part of the story is hearing (seeing) that Ebenezer has lackluster feelings towards his best friends death - even while siting with him in his last moments. Then, to immediately turn back to the cold and calculating "scrooge" only seconds after he passes - is yet another example of showing the cold and cruel "Ebenezer" before his realization and subsequent "turn" to good.

#3 - The Cratchet's on Christmas Morning. After Ebenezer's "turn" he orders the "Prize Turkey" hanging in the butcher's window... To be delivered to Bob Cratchet and family on Christmas Morning... He does so anonymously, and the shock and surprise of receiving the turkey on Christmas Morning is one of the scenes that shows that Ebenezer's makeover is complete. He does so selflessly. He has no intent of showing up to partake, nor does he choose to let the Cratchets know it was he who did it.

With the addition of these three scenes, Disney would have (in my opinion) hit the ball out of the park.. I do not know if this is the case, but I felt these scenes were sacrificed so they could add additional 3D scenes that are visual ONLY. (Sliding down rooftops, gutters, and downspouts).

They did add one scene (3D in nature) that I felt DID enhance the movie.

(SPOILER ALERT)

After the movie ended, #4 of 5 and The Mother of Five said they did not get the part of the movie where he shrunk down, and was being chased by a horse and carriage.. I shared with them my thoughts on this... The shrinking down part was added (I felt) as a 3D enhancement, so Ebeneezer could slide down pipes sewers and gutters in 3D, but the fact that he was being chased by horses (evil horses with red eyes) and a phantom (The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come) driver of the carriage was significant. The carriage was a shadowy image of a horse drawn hearse of days gone by... Ebenezer running from the hearse (death) and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come (his unchanged evil ways of the past) would eventual catch up him, and be his undoing.

- - - -

Dispite the movie's few and minor shortcomings, it's true to story, visual impact, and even a little bit of artistic license (see above), I truly did enjoy this version of the movie. Since we still have a few "little ones" at home, I am certain that this movie will become part of our collection, and something we enjoy (at least for the foreseeable future).

Thanks Disney... Maybe not "out of the park", but I'd definitely say a home run on this one!

School Marathon - 2009

2009-11-05T08:40:00.001-06:00

I grew up attending parochial schools.

For anyone (about my age) who attended any of the private / parochial schools in Minnesota's Twin Cities - you will have memories of participating in the "The Marathon".

Back when we participated in The Marathon, it was an all day event where all the local schools got together on the same day, each setting up their own picnic area within the boundaries of Minneahaha Park (home of Minnehaha Falls). Most would set up picnic shelters, tents, and canopies with colorful signs and banners identifying which school's gathering area this was.

There would be coolers filled with pop and water, burgers and hotdogs on grills (manned by the dads), tables of pot-luck style side dishes (manned by the moms) that were brought by each of the participating families as a dish to share.

Once you arrived and checked in with your school, you were free to head out (walking, biking, or running) along a pre-determined route (closed off to local traffic) along West River Parkway up to the University Avenue Bridge, and then head back down the East River Parkway back to Minnehaha Park, where you would check back in with your school. Once you completed the route, you would gather with other families and celebrate with fellow students, families, and Alumni. It became quite the "social event" for us "parochial schoolers"....

(I'll see if my parents have any photos from the old Marathon days....)

The annual Minnesota Marathon for Non-Public Education is still around, but has evolved into a slightly different incarnation of its former self. (Excerpt taken from their website)

The Minnesota Marathon for Nonpublic Education is a fun and effective way to raise funds, and public awareness for your school.

Since 1974, Marathon events have given students, school families, faculty members and others an opportunity to show their school pride while generating important financial support for school programs. With fun events and service projects, the Marathon has served communities while supporting nonpublic education.

In 1975, the State Council of the Knights of Columbus joined the effort. Since then, the Knights have provided financial support for Marathon events across the state.

Typically, students solicit donations for walk-a-thons, bike marathons, community clean-up events and service projects matching students with community needs.

Our kids' WONDERFUL little school, St. John the Baptist (being a private school) participates annually in “The Marathon”. St. John's has put together a Marathon program they call "Hands to Serve, Hearts to God".

Through “Hands to Serve, Hearts to God” the school participates in service project(s) geared to enrich our local community. Specifically…

The preschoolers clean and dust the sanctuary of our church.
The Kindergartners (#5 of 5's class) and first graders hold a musical production for the residents of Shule Haus (our local nursing home). (Photo below)
The rest of the school (#4 of 5's class) participate in a fall lawn clean up for the

elderly, or for those who are unable to clean their yard before winter by raking and bagging leaves....

The participants are broken up into small groups that consist of one school representative, several parental volunteers, and between 6-10 students and spread around the community to complete our service. Each group is given a list of homes to serve (this year each group had four).

Once a group has completed their list, a call is made to the school (to see if any other group is in need of help) – and either provide help to another group, or head back for hot dogs and caramel apples (at least that was this year’s fare)

I have participated in years past, but for the past few years, I have been working a “day-watch” (7am-3pm) schedule – and therefore unable to attend.

This year, the scheduled day of The Marathon (Friday) was rained out, and delayed until the next school day (Monday). Since the Mother of Five took Friday off, and I was on my days off on Monday – this year’s parental volunteer from our house fell back on me.

The day was PERFECT! The weather cooperated. The sun was out, and it was cool but not cold outside. I was assigned to the same group my daughter (#4 of 5) was assigned to. Our group was given a list of four houses that are closest to the school. Because we received the houses closest to the school, we walked to our target address (as opposed to a couple of the groups who were bussed) and once there, we started in the task at hand.

Note to self…

Raking up a yard full of leaves would be SO MUCH EASIER if it did not involve groups of elementary school aged kids jumping into MONSTER piles of leaves (re-distributing them around the yard) you are trying to clean them up.

Oh, don’t get me wrong here… I understand the whole premise of teaching the kids the importance and value of volunteering – and to be completely honest, I think the senior citizens that we were helping (and were watching us from their windows) enjoyed watching the kids involved in their “shenanigans” – I’m just sayin’ it would be SO MUCH EASIER!!

Once we finished our four houses, we checked in with the school, and were asked to help another group with their last house – bringing our total number of yards cleaned to five before we headed back to partake in the hot dogs and caramel apples.

At the end of the day, between all the groups, our little school / church had a clean sanctuary, the residence of the Shule Haus had a wonderful afternoon of being sung to, and a total of 34 homeowners of our little community (who would normally be unable to clean their own yards) got their yards raked and readied for winter – not to mention the opportunity to demonstrate the value of volunteering and community service to our children, and raise a little bit of money for our school too!

Reaching out...

2009-11-01T22:24:00.001-06:00

Temporary post...

I am looking for Greg from "It's Not about the Badge". Greg, use the "contact me" link on the right sidebar to send me an email... Just wondering how things have been going for you!

Halloween 2009

2009-11-01T22:08:00.001-06:00

Between being very busy, not feeling well, insomnia, chromic fatigue, and a car that is starting to act up, fall clean up, and now Halloween (and subsequent celebrations) - the FOF blog has gotten pretty neglected as of late.

So in place of a REAL post, I am going to throw some photos at you of our Halloween festivities.

This is a photo of the Halloween program #5 of 5's class held..

#5 of 5 is circled in yellow...

As a "Service Project" the kindergarten class road tripped it to our local nursing home, and put on a sing-song-show for the residents of the Schule Haus Retirement Center.

Just a few of the snacks set up for the kids "Night Before Halloween Party" with their friends.

A "Sam's Club" sized box of Halloween decorated cupcakes.

Believe it or not, we even had leftovers the next day (that we sent home with #1 of 5)

#4 of 5 and her friend playing a game of "Rat-a-tat-cat", and the "Wii Station"
Upstairs, the girls were calm and quiet... like little ladies - while the boys downstairs, were loud and obnoxious!

Time to set up the pumpkins!

If you look closely in the second photo, you can see some "rabbit ears" that our pumpkins seemed to sprout.

#1 and #2 stayed at home, tending the fire while #3 dressed up as a ghoul (no photos) and went out wit a friend.

#4 was a colorfully camouflaged clown and #5 of 5 was dressed as a kitty!

#5 of 5 with a group of her friends (they were two kitty's and a leopard)

#4 of 5 with a group of her friends.... (#4 is the one with the colorful hat)

Before and after shots of the gathering area in our driveway.

This year, we were one of the only families with a fire bowl set up... And we had several sets of parents stop by to "warm up".

Blissfully Ignorant

2009-10-22T11:46:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, as I perused my "Wall" of FB friends, I noticed one update that jumped out at me.

"_______________ hasn't paid much attention to the news OR Facebook for the last few days and I gotta tell you, it's been pretty sweet. I just wish I could "not" care forever."

IMMEDIATELY, that update got my mind whirling. I could almost hear the different versions of this post being written in my head. Titles. Introductory sentences. Themes... All of it. The "inspiration" (or is it more like plagiarism) felt good! I really have struggled with that since switching to the overnight shift. I said it before, and it bares repeating... Sleep depravation is a creativity KILLER.

The News...

As a child, I grew up HATING the news... 5pm, 6pm, 10pm. WCCO on the radio.. It was EVERYWHERE (or so it seemed), and (as a child) it was BORING. It interrupted my after-school cartoons and I resented it for doing so. I think that is pretty common for almost ALL children, wherever they may be.

But as children grow up the world around them (and their part in it) expands. The news becomes a bigger and bigger component.

Then, somewhere back a ways, the AVAILABLITY of the news increased. With the advent of the 24/7 news channels, and a few years later, access to Internet by the masses, news was only seconds away from you at any moment, of any day.

I think the news really started being part of my daily life around the time of "Operation Desert Storm" (aka, the first Gulf War - circa 1990). America was at war, and the news was a buzz with talk of reenacting the draft.

As the threat of the draft passed, and victory was declared in Kuwait, the news had become part of my life, and I felt I needed to become more aware of the world around me, and my roll in it.

As I continued to "mature" (a term some folks who know me will question), the roll the news played in my life continued to gain momentum. Married... (with children), and now in a career that often MAKES (or at least is IN) the news often (which involves talking to the "newsies" from time to time) only helped fuel the fire. Every time things started calming down, and the news' roll in my life faded a bit, big events like the Oklahoma City Bombing kept me going back for more.

Then, it happened...

A day that defines a generation. Every generation has them. JFK's assassination, the moon landing, and for my generation... 9-11-01

Who was not glued to the TV for coverage (for seemingly days at a time). Newspapers, magazines, radio. You could not avoid it. I felt in order to do my job the best I could, I HAD to be up on the news. I had to know the latest and greatest of the breaking news. Collapsing buildings, police and firefighters falling in the line of duty, rescue, recovery, terrorism, the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, anthrax scares, the Second Gulf War... The list is endless, and frankly, it was information overload.

The worst part of it all? The news (and I mean ALL of it) is biased.

The left thinks they "report" the news, and that the right "slants" it.
The right thinks they "report" the news, and that the left "skews" it.

From an independent (lower case L - libertarian) viewpoint (and someone who often sees "behind" the news - and the facts that often go unreported), I can tell you that NEITHER side "reports" the news.

From what I have seen from my limited viewpoint, I have ZERO faith that I am getting the whole story from EITHER side, or from ANY network. Left, right, liberal, or conservative... It's all garbage. It's all corporate, bought by advertisers, and molded into the story the network, channel, or reporter WANTS you to see. Nothing more, nothing less.

So, I made the decision....

I can not pinpoint the moment I made the decision, but I do remember making it... I was done with the news. DONE. No more. Finished. I went cold turkey. It was not easy... at least for about a week.

After that initial withdrawal period, I found my mood getting better and happier.... The whole "doom and gloom" aspect of the news was GONE from my life... (and yes, BOTH sides are responsible for doom and gloom).

I do not go out of my way to "avoid" the news. I can often hear the news when others are watching it, I still subscribe to a couple of LOCAL (Twin Cities) Internet news feeds that I read (I only get headlines delivered - if it is worthwhile, then I click through to the story), and my alpha-numeric pager (which also gets headline news drops). I do subscribe to our local city newspaper, but that has less to do with "news" and more about community events. Other than these few "snippets" and "snapshots" of the news - I have successfully lived without a significant stream of news in my life for several years now... and I could not be a happier man for doing so.

Co-workers, my parents, my neighbors - they all ask me "Did you hear the news about" - and I can stop there right there, dead in their tracks, and say "No. I do not watch the news anymore". I can not tell you how good it feels to say that.

When I do hear/see the news, I am now amazed at just how sensationalized it has become. You would think that each story is going to end with Armageddon. Truly, if you were to believe everything the news is spewing out, it would be a miracle that we are able to wake in the morning to a world that is still intact.

Ignorance IS bliss.

Call me a fool if you want, but in this time of my life (and foreseeably for the remainder of that life) I would much rather be ignorantly blissful, then woefully informed. It makes me less stressful, and I truly enjoy the time I have with my friends and my family. There is no longer an undertone of fear, of doom, of "the end" that the news WANTS you.. no... NEEDS you to believe.

Your fears equal more time on the news. More time on the news equals more advertising dollars for the network. These networks have a vested interest in keeping you watching their news... With more and more news outlet options, they are all scrambling for the same revenue dollar, and to be successful, they need YOU to tune in to THEIR channel.

How do they do that?? Sensationalized, irresponsible, premature, and hack "reporting" of the news.

Please believe me when I say that elimination of the news has been one of the best decisions I have made for my mental health... EVER. If you are even CONSIDERING it, I URGE you to try it... Give yourself a month... You wont regret it!

A Successful Hunt

2009-10-16T17:47:00.001-05:00

Being in the middle of a sixty-eight hour workweek has kept me pretty busy. My "on-line" presence has been pretty close to non-existent...

I promised a post on our Duck Hunting trip - it's 75% complete, and will (I repeat WILL) reach 100%. I refuse to let this year's post fall into the "... as evening approached..." category.

What is the "...as evening approached..." category you ask?
Example 1, Example 2, Example 3.

But, this Successful Hunt is not about ducks. No.
It is also NOT about mice - but that is a different post (follow link).

This post IS about my cousins from Maine.
(For a brief history on my cousins from Maine, check out THIS link, and THIS link.)

Anyway, back in June, while checking my email inbox, I discovered an email from my cousin Cindy. She was sharing some VERY exciting news.

After thirty years of applying, her husband Paul was selected in Maine's annual Moose Hunt Licence Lottery. He was in the lucky 5% (3,000 out of 56,000 applicants) to be issued a license.

Then, on September 28th, I received another email from Cindy.

September 28th is opening day of the Maine Moose Hunt.

She sent me an email titled "WE GOT THE BIG MOOSE"
(and yes, it was in all caps - showing her obvious enthusiasm!)

I received some preliminary info - that the Bull Moose weighed 635 lbs, and that it had a ten-point rack.

Paul fell the moose with one shot from a Winchester .270 (an obviously GREAT shot!) and they felt (and I have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER) that they received some "luck from above" from their dad (my uncle Dan) who passed away 19 years ago THAT VERY DAY!

They had placed a photo of my uncle in their truck so "he could come hunting with us".

Just reading that email again brings tears to my eyes. (Yes, I am crying right now.)

I am so lucky, to have WONDERFUL Aunts and Uncles in my life... ALL OF THEM!
Dan, Greg & Marilyn, Vince & Theresa, Ron & Marty. They have all been positive influences in my life.

It is just so sad to me that our family lost my Uncle Dan way too early... I so much would have loved to know my Uncle Dan better than I did. I have few, but fond memories of the times we did get to spend together.

Like my Mémère, and Pépère (grandparents) - my Uncle Dan is one person I would do just about anything to be able to be able to spend some time with, now, as a grown man. Even just one day.

Jan, Cindy & Paul, and Dean - Please know that even though I did not get to know him as much as I would like to, your dad is STILL a strong presence in my heart, and is often on my mind...

Back to the story...

Just a couple of days ago, I received a package in the mail. (Hmmm, that's funny - I did not order anything - I thought to myself) - then I noticed the return address... Maine!!

The package was "video tape" shaped, and I was opening the package as I scrambled back to the house. Inside I found (not only) a video, but a letter from Cindy, and a slew of photos from the hunt too!

AMAZING PHOTOS!

I sat down with most of the kids, and the Mother of Five, and we went through the photos, and watched the video. It was AMAZING.

I have processed a couple of deer in my life (including my own 10-point buck) but just watching them work with the MASSIVE moose was amazing!! (Not to mention how much I really enjoy listening to their French/Canadian accents!!)

We found out that the moose was 635 lbs (field dressed) had a 29.5 inch spread on the rack, and that they ended up with 400 lbs of meat! We were so excited for them!!

I want to take a minute to truly thank Cindy and Paul for including me so much in their successful hunt... Even though it's only through email and snail-mail, it feels so good to be connected across the "way too many" miles.

I truly look forward to the day that I can come visit them... My cousin Bob has been up there, and OFTEN talks about the great times he has had there!

Congratulations Paul!!
Congratulations on a truly Successful Hunt!

I Have Declared War!

2009-10-13T11:31:00.001-05:00

It has not been since the Great Bee Battle of 2007 that I have endeavored to undertake a battle of such epic proportions. (Be warned, there are graphic images of battle casualties included behind that link! View images at your own risk.)

Back during the Great Bee Battle I emerged victorious after vanquishing two (separate) menacing hordes of bees by enacting a edict of mass execution. I was able to declare my victory after only one day of battle.

This new war will be nothing less than a personal Fatwā of Jihad. Me versus my enemy. I will accept nothing but victory.

A few nights ago, while the Mother of Five took all but #5 of 5 to the Jordan Hubman's (our local High School team) Homecoming football game, I found myself passing the time by doing several loads of laundry.

It was while I was performing this duty (as I made one of many trips into the laundry room) I noticed a tiny bit of movement out of the corner of my eye.

I immediacy ran to the location of the movement (behind our washer and dryer) and found myself face to face, and even being given the "stink eye" by my new foe.

A Mouse...

But not just "a mouse" mind you. Oh no.

Having spent ten years of my life working in a medium sized local neighborhood Hardware Store, I can not even being to tell you how many times I reminded customers of the old adage...

"You don't just have a mouse. You have MICE."

Immediately, #5 of 5 freaked out - and ran as fast as she could away from the laundry room - and WOULD NOT go in there to save her soul. No, in fact when I took her in there to get her some jammies out of the dryer, I had to carry her - and when I set her down to sort through the clothes in the dryer, the only way I could let her down was if she stood ON my feet.

Several days later, and she still refuses to go into the laundry room alone. I do not completely understand this for two reasons..

1. She never SAW the mouse, she only heard me talk about it - and I did not even freak out or anything.. It was said "matter of factly" - like "uh-oh... We have a mouse in the house. I'm going to have to try and get some traps to catch the little bugger"...

and...

2. My daughters (#4 and #5 of 5) have gerbils. Well, they had "gerbils" until our cats changed that to we have "a gerbil" - if you know what I mean.

But that does not change anything. Our girls have played with, and man-handled our gerbils.

And let's be frank here for a moment. Really, how different are mice from gerbils?? Isn't the word "Gerbil" Spanish for "Domesticated Mouse"? If it's not Spanish, I am certain it is in some other obscure language...

Photo on the right is of #4 of 5 and either "Nibbles" or "Cookie"... I never could tell the difference between the two of them - especially since this photo was taken before the cats... Well... I hope you know what I mean...

If this photo was a bit more recent, I could tell you that it was "Nibbles" for sure, as "Cookie" has gone to that great "Cookie Jar" in the sky thanks to our cats.

Before we moved to our new home, our last house had a single attached garage that was too small for a car - and became a oversized storage area. I was still working nights back then (how ironic... I'm back on them again) - and the Mother of Five told me that at night, she could hear scratching in the walls and ceiling.

Like a good husband, I gave her the ol' "uh-huh" and never gave it another thought - until I heard them...

Over the next couple of months, I had a great time setting traps, poisons, looking for holes, and evidence of where the mice were at.

Truth be told, I ENJOYED the battle against the mice.

After dinner, I would set the traps, and would listen quietly for the inevitable "snap" of a trap. Sometimes we would hear two or three "snaps" within a few minutes of each other.... That's when I knew they were on the move!

By the end of that winter, I had just under twenty "kills" under my belt.

So, now it's time to dust off those battle hardened skills, and put them back into use. Step one? Break out the Heavy Artillery". Not wanting to be looked upon as a brutal, oppressive warmonger, I only deployed half of my "Heavy Artillery" - hoping that would solve my problem without having to make a tyrannical show of force.

Until "they" were able to circumvent my best efforts, and disarm my Artillery (eat the peanut butter off the traps) without succumbing to raining of hellfire from above (the spring-loaded snap-bar).

Yup, they ate the bait off of TWO traps - without setting them off. I (in theory) FED the mice!!! They (in theory) stole food from my children by eating that peanut butter, and not having the common courtesy to set off the trap.

As of Tuesday morning, I have reinforced the traps with something a mouse just can not turn down. Provolone Cheese (smeared with peanut butter). The Peanut butter for the taste and smell, and the gourmet cheese as something the trigger can "bite" into.

I am certain that this time around, the mice will have no luck disarming my artillery, and will fall victim to it's version of a swift death from above.

In fact... I am so certain of my future success, that I may just take this (premature) opportunity to announce "Mission Accomplished"...

Oh, wait... That did not work so well for the last fella that used it...
Maybe I should change my announcement...

I can NOT be the only one... can I?

2009-10-11T21:24:00.001-05:00

Guilty Pleasure...

Home-made "cherry" coke.

1 can cola
1 "flavor-ice", popcicle or other similar "frozen fruit flavored treat".
Add Flavor-ice, cola and crushed ice to a glass, stir, and enjoy.

Am I the only one that does this??

FOF Observation #15

2009-10-08T20:32:00.001-05:00

The "FOF Observations" are a series of "Perpetual Posts" where I will share with you, my readers, short little "one line" observations that I have made (or will be making) on being the father of a large family. You will be able to access each of the posts in a cohesive list by clicking on the "FOF Observations" link in the "Perpetual Posts" group on the sidebar.
-----------------------------------

Having two teen aged boys in the house, you can expect to hear just about anything, at anytime.

Example...

Said at our dinner table tonight by #3 of 5 (and said completely out of the blue, unexpected, and not related to any conversations we had prior..)

"My hands smell like feet."

One can only wonder what made this young man choose that exact moment to make such an observation /decleration / proclamation is beyond me. Although it did get everyone at the table laughing (literally) out loud.

I do have to wonder though... What do his feet smell like? That, my dear readers, will remain a mystery. I refuse to check.

I Got Nothin'

2009-10-02T05:57:00.001-05:00

I am not sure how many of you are "in the know" on this, but as of the first part of September, I have been working the "dogwatch" or overnight shift.

We "bid" our shifts each trimester (4 month periods) by seniority. The first five years of my career was spent working overnights.

It was horrible.

By the end, I could not sleep (I slept between two and four hours a day), I became chemically dependent on caffeine and was taking between two and four caffeine pills twice a night just to "barley" stay awake, I gained 100 lbs (don't get me wrong... I blame myself for that - I let it happen. The dogwatch shift was what I call a "contributing factor"), my fuse (and temper) grew very short, I had became a angry and sometimes even a mean person.

Finally, between my fifth and twelfth year I had reached a level of seniority that allowed me to not have to work overnights, and I worked a "mid" shift (3pm-11pm) or a "power" shift (7pm-3am). Things got better.

Then, the kids started reaching school age. After work, I would be home by midnight, and in bed. I was still able to be up and spend time with the schoolagers in the morning - then with the pre-school age kids during the day, until I had to leave for work (around 2pm). They were young enough that homework was not a big issue, and after school sports were only just beginning.

Finally about two years ago, I achieved enough seniority to be able to work a "day watch" shift (7am-3pm). I was home with my kids after school, I could help with homework, take them to baseball, basketball, Boy Scouts, Sewing class, and sleep like a normal human being! I met neighbors I had rarely seen in the previous 10 years that we have lived in our house, I met parents of my children's friends that I really only knew by name, I attended events at the kids school (musicals, science fairs, etc) It was as if a whole new world opened up to me. I could not believe how "opposite" my life had become from the world around me.

Then, the powers that be decided that the schedule we were working was no longer "adequate" and have been changing it for the past year. Some shifts have been eliminated, and others have been extended. Here is where I will keep my personal opinions to myself.

Between some change in the people above me in seniority, and the changes in the schedule as a whole, I found myself facing a decision that I had not had to for almost ten years. Work overnights, or work one of the "new shifts" that would prevent me from seeing my children AT ALL on the days I worked. I would still be sleeping when they left for school, and I would be gone before they arrived home.

I did something that I promised myself I would NEVER do again... I selected the overnight shift.

Thankfully, (so far) I am sleeping between four and six hours a day (with the help of sleeping pills), I have not hit the caffeine tablets too hard yet (never more than one, and I do not take them every day), and I have remained (at least as far as I can tell) on a pretty level temperament.

I am home to see the kids after school, can help with homework, still sign up for classes like Firearm Safety, stay involved with the Scout Program, and other similar things. That is the upside.

The downside is, I have little time (or energy) for much else. I vowed to make sure I get SOME exercise this trimester, and have been walking two miles with my wife each and every morning... But after working from11pm-7am, it's a STRUGGLE to stay motivated to spend an extra hour walking, then coming home and cleaning up before going to bed.

And even though I am getting MORE sleep than I did ten to fifteen years ago, the sleep just is not the same. It's not as "restful", and it is a odd vibe to wake up at 2pm - and still be groggy in the middle of the afternoon. But, at least I get to spend time with my family - and even though I may not care for the hours so much, in this economy, (let's be honest here) I am VERY thankful to have a job!

Great story FOF, but why did you feel the need to share this with us??

I decided to share this with you because one of the things I have noticed about myself while working overnights... Is my lack of creativity. It is amazing how quickly my inspiration, and creativity to work this blog has been quashed. Oh, the interest is still there... I see things that I say "Ooo... that would make a hilarious post", but when it comes time to sit down and write...

I got nothin'.

So please bare with me these next few months. I have a feeling that posts will be coming less frequently, and for those of you who's blogs I read regularly (and I still do), you may have noticed my commenting has also dropped off dramatically... Just remember this... I may not be commenting, but I am still following!

Firearms Safety Certificate - Part Deux (or part 3 of 5)

2009-09-27T15:39:00.001-05:00

This year (like last year) I had a child attain the ripe ol' age of 12. Age 12 is when young'ens are able to (legally) obtain their Firearms Safety Certificate from the State of Minnesota.

Unlike last year when #2 of 5 received his Firearms Safety Certificate (link) and the instructor asked why I did not take the class with him (since I sat in the class each night), this year I took his suggestion, and got myself enrolled in class with #3 of 5!

At first, I was not sure either of us would be able to take the class. From previous experience, I knew the class filled fast - so when the "Community Education" book came home (listing the Firearms Safety class) I set it aside to take to work with me and Fax in our enrollment.

That was Thursday.

I (of course) forgot to take it to work with me on Thursday, so I planned on taking it on Friday.

...then...

I (of course) forgot to take it to work with me on Friday, so I planned on taking it on Saturday.

...and...

I (of course) forgot to take it to work with me on Saturday (seeing the pattern here??), so I gave up trying to take it to work with me, and decided on calling the community Ed office on Monday, and enrolling over the phone.

Monday rolled on by...

Tuesday - the Mother of Five took it upon herself to make the call to Community Ed. Three (business days) after the book came out - and we were given the news that the class was already full.

FULL?? After three days?? What was I going to tell #3 of 5? He would not be able to hunt this year without the certificate and Duck opener was only three weeks away...

On the upside - we were told that they are creating a "waiting list", and #3 of 5 was only the second student on the list. We were told to wait, and if there were any openings, they would be calling us the Friday before classes started. Sure enough - the call came that advised us we were welcome to join the class!

The class itself was very similar to last year. The instructors not only covered the things they HAD TO cover, but went above and beyond, and shared their wisdom, knowledge, and experience in MANY aspects of gun safety, hunting, and competitive shooting sports.

Correction... There was one thing different in the class this year. There was a group of unruly, and disruptive students, that even got the instructors frustrated. Not only did they make a bad name for themselves, but they also left a bad name for the Firearms Safety Class by ransacking a bathroom one evening. It is my sincere hope that the instructors have the ability to (and will) fail these students. They certainly demonstrated that they have NO business handling the responsibility that comes with the use and ownership of a firearm.

After two weeks of classes, a final exam (I tied for the highest score in class), and a practical exam that included a gun handling hike, and a "life fire" exam - our commitment to the program in both #3 of 5 and I receiving our Firearms Safety Certificates!

Since I was born prior to 1979 - I am not "required" to have the certificate - but what better way to teach my children than to "walk the walk and talk the talk". I urge every parent who is taking their kid to Firearms Safety Class, to sit in with your child. I can not think of a better way to spend some quality time with your child!

Like last year's post - I would be negligent by not thanking a few people and organizations for the commitment they put into this program.

1. The Volunteers. I do not have all their names, but there were some great volunteers that had a ton to offer the kids. John Breimhorst who is now on his 43rd year of teaching this class (and who taught many of the other instructors, and a couple of the parents who dropped their kids off)... and the Will brothers from W.W. Will and Sons Distributions and Sportsman Brand Meats... Jeff Will and Tim Will who are both extremely talented sportsman, for sharing a lot of practical wisdom and knowledge with the kids, and were very generous with the time they put into teaching the class. Truly a bunch of stand up fellas!

2. The Fish Lake Sportsman Club - who sponsor the class, and donate some wonderful items for the kids... (Gunlocks, Books and Training materials, protective eye wear, hearing protectors, a survival rag, and a silicone impregnated gun sock).

3. The SCALE Facility - The Scott County Association for Leadership and Efficiency (A Regional Public Safety Training Facility... I.E. Police and Fire training Facility) for providing an outstanding environment (both the classroom and the shooting ranges...)

ONE HUNDRED!

2009-09-19T17:10:00.002-05:00

I did it!!

I finally logged my 100th GeoCaching find!!

Check out the details by FOLLOWING THIS LINK.

(Photo is a link to GeoCaching.com)

What Being A "Typical Male" Is Like

2009-09-18T22:48:00.001-05:00

Not that long ago, but just long enough (to be slightly embarrassing) fellow blogger (and one of a handful I have really come to know on a personal level, and consider a "friend") Dobeman from Postulates and Pasttimes celebrated the birth of their third (and, at least according to him - their last) baby.

If you followed P & P, you would know how they did not know exactly what "flavor" their baby was going to be. In the end, they did finally come home with a daughter (their first).

VERY EXCITING!!

I told the Mother of Five that I wanted to pick up a little somethin'-somethin' for the baby - and she liked the idea - So I kicked the idea around a couple of days, and came up with a "plan".

Shortly thereafter, (and with the help of the Mother of Five) the plan became a reality, and I had a little gift sitting in my house waiting to be sent.

I left it on our living room buffet so I would be constantly reminded that I needed to get the gift out to the P & P family. Being in the midst of a tumultuous period at work (one that landed me working overnights again after 10 years) - getting the gift in the mail was put on the back burner. (Sorry Dobeman... Priorities)

Then, another "incident".

Best Bud Ed had a significantly traumatic event occur in their house. I had a gift for their family as well. In this case - I handed the job over to the Mother of Five to handle. (I had just started overnights, and was struggling with acclimating) Sorry Best Bud Ed...

So, by this point, I had two gifts to get out. Mother of Five handled the "Best Bud Ed" gift, and I said I would take care of the Dobeman gift.

Almost two weeks went by.

Today (Friday) when I went to bed - I told my self... NO MORE. These items get mailed out TODAY. I woke with 30 minutes left before the post office closed, and so I grabbed the box Mother of Five had for Best Bud Ed, and I grabbed the gift for Dobeman, and ran off to the post office.

I had five minutes to spare when I arrived.

I was in need of USPS approved packaging for my gift yet, and so I asked the USPS employee for help. She provided me a suitable package. But the gift did not fit properly (as is) - so a slight modification was made.

Next, I noticed that I left the card that went with the gift at home. ARRRGH!! I did not have time to return home, and I wanted the gifts sent (they have waited way too long already), so the package was sealed, addressed, and sent AS-IS.

When I got home, I proudly announced to the Mother of Five that the packages were FINALLY sent! She asked me if I had wrapped the gift to Dobeman.

Sounds of Crickets Chirping

"Um... Wrap"? I asked. "Yes. Wrap. As in the roll of pretty pink paper that I left sitting on the table for you next to the gift. " she replied.

Quickly looking over at the table, I noticed the long tube of pretty pink paper that I had not previously noticed... Bowing my head in shame, I told her that I did not wrap the gift prior to packaging it up - and that I had left the card at home too...

That's when it started sinking in... When the Mother of Five asked me if I really sent the package with no note, no card, and the gift inside not even wrapped...

I guess I had not thought about it that way...

(Blushing) - Dobeman... When that lame little package arrives, the one contains an unwrapped gift, and no card, or note, or indication who sent it... Um.... That would be from us... (well, actually from ME in it's current state)... It would have been from US (the FOF family) had it been wrapped in the pretty pink paper the Mother of Five had set aside, and had the nice card I had for you with it.... Please try and picture it wrapped up all nicely in baby-girl pink paper, and with a card explaining the gift (although I think you'll "get it" when you see it)..

Rest assured, I'll get the card sent too... At some point... Hopefully before your daughter turns eighteen (rolling my eyes)...

My apologies to Dobeman, and the whole P&P family... I am usually a little more on top of these things... You have my word... NEXT TIME you you have a baby - I'll be sure to wrap the gift!!

Man, I can be such a "typical male" sometimes... Sheesh.

Back To School

2009-09-16T01:21:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite movies is "Back to School". This may be because of a similarity between my name and the name of the main character, or it may be the fact that Thornton Melon is the CEO of a line of clothing called "Tall and Fat" (which I am a card carrying member of each). Regardless of the reason, this post is NOT about the movie. I just stole the title... That's all.

Yet, like the plot of the movie, I too am going "back to school" with my son!

Last year #2 of 5 passed his Firearms Safety Class and received his Firearms Safety Certificate. At the end of the classes, I discovered I too COULD HAVE taken the class, and since I sat in the classes each night, I really SHOULD HAVE. #2 and #3 of 5 are only a year apart, so I knew I would have the opportunity to take the class with my next oldest the following year. As noted in the prior post, I promised myself I would take the class this fall.

When the Community Education catalog came out for the Fall sessions, I checked, and sure enough - Firearms Safety was among the choices. I set the catalog aside, intending to take it to work and fill out the paperwork to get him enrolled. The first night, I forgot the book at home. The second night, I forgot the book at home. Then, it was the weekend (Saturday and Sunday - Community Ed classes are closed). Monday rolled on by, and on Tuesday - the Mother of Five contacted Community Ed to get him signed up.

The class (limit 35) was FILLED.

This is a disappointment because without the certificate, #3 of 5 can not legally hunt with me, and since #2 of 5 went last year, #3 of 5 was looking forward to joining us this year. He was disappointed, but did a good job of containing it. The "glimmer of hope" was that while the class was full, they were creating a "waiting list", and that #3 of 5 was the second kid on that list.

So, we waited... Patiently.

The waiting paid off! Last week, community ed called and confirmed that there were a few cancellations, and that #3 of 5 was welcome to attend the class! The first class was on Monday. I took #3 of 5 to class a little early, and re-introduced myself to the lead instructor - and explained my desire to join #3 of 5 in class. The instructor was delighted to hear that I was joining.

When class started, there was one other father with their child, and one (childless) adult in class. By the end of class there were a couple of other dad's joining in.

Over the next 14 days, we have seven scheduled classes to attend (3 hours each class) - a final test, and a "field trip" that consists of demonstrating safe gun handling "in the field", and a live fire exercise.

Even though I do not (legally) "need it", having a Firearms Safety Certificate is a good thing and reinforces the lessons in safety I have learned from "best bud Ed" and his dad throughout the years - and teaches my children important lessons - even if they never hunt again.

A Few of my Favorite Things #1 - A Shameless Plug

2009-09-10T10:16:00.001-05:00

A while ago, I started a blog post titled "A Few of my Favorite Things"... No, don't try and search for it - it was never fully completed. I get motivated, and start working on a blog post - but life happens, and the steam runs out of the locomotive, and the post goes into a folder in Windows Live Writer titled "Work in Progress".

When I start running short on ideas, or I have not posted in a while, I dig through that folder and see if I find any fresh motivation for one of these little gems. Today, I have found some for one of the "A Few of my Favorite Things" posts.

This post was originally started after #3 of 5 finished his "after school program". The kids are offered a one hour once a week program run by parents... It's just something to get the kids involved in other interests they may not normally do.

#3 of 5 was in "Cribbage Challange" - and one evening last February - he and I cracked out a cribbage board (not just "a" cribbage board, we cracked out "THE" cribbage board - more to follow), and went on a mad streak of cribbage games.

One of "my favorite things" is the cribbage board I took out. This cribbage board was a gift, given to me by "best bud Ed" eighteen years ago this Christmas. I instantly fell in LOVE with this board (for it's unique design, the aesthetic beauty, and the sentimental value it has for me).

I have yet to see ANYTHING like this cribbage board. I love unique cribbage boards, and frequently shop around for them - but to be completely honest - I have never bought another one, because Ed truly spoiled me with the board he made for me. Nothing I have seen since comes close.

The board is about a twelve inch ring cut from the stump of an oak tree. The ring never split, and still has all the bark attached to the side. Ed took a lot of time to lay out the cribbage board pattern, and to carefully hand drill the precise holes for the pegs.

I could continue to describe the cribbage board, but honestly, my words would not do it justice - so I am going with the "one picture is worth a thousand words" theory.

Enjoy several thousand words worth of photos!

This cribbage board is among a few items that are so meaningful to me, that I can not imagine parting with them. Ed and I have spent many winter nights, or nights up at the cabin playing cribbage - the memories of the HOURS we played cribbage - and the MASTER CRAFTMANSHIP that was put into making this cribbage board - makes it (for me) irreplaceable, and SECOND TO NONE.

- - - - - - -

Now, the shameless plug.

Like many folks all around this country, my "best bud Ed" recently found himself out of work. His job loss has motivated him to try making a living doing something he enjoys, and he has AMAZING skills doing.

Woodworking!

Well, actually more than just woodworking, some of the things he demonstrates AMAZING skills at include, but are certainly not limited to general repairs, installations, light carpentry/ remodeling, flooring, trim work / painting, and drywall repair.

But it is his mastery over wood, and wood related accessories (which are SECOND TO NONE) that I (try not to) envy. Over the past couple of years, he has been commissioned to build some unique custom pieces of furniture.

I am in awe of what he has done...

So, I am going to use the FOF blog to help spread the word - I am going to combine the first "A Few of my Favorite Things" post with an "advertisement" for Ed's Woodworking business.

Folks, if you are in need of any woodworking, custom made furniture, or other QUALITY done work - please get a hold of EJHudak Woodworking.... He does AMAZING work!

For now, the phone number is (obviously) incorrect on the advertisement... I will get that repaired, but in the mean time, check out some of his work HERE, and feel free to contact Ed AT THIS EMAIL ADDRESS - if you have any questions, or are interested in seeing what he can do for you!

You will be glad you did!

First day of K, 3rd, 7th, and 8th

2009-09-08T17:01:00.001-05:00

On this, my second day of working the dog-watch (overnight) shift - I was able to make it home just in time to see the girls off to school.

This year is the first year since we were married (16 years ago) that ALL of our kids are in school, and we have none at home during the day. (Which, I hope helps, when it comes to working the overnight shift... A nice quiet house!)

Today, I'm taking the easy way out - a photo essay of the first day of school for the 4 youngest of our 5. (The oldest is livin' on his own, and started post-secondary this year - after a two-year hiatus). Sorry folks, as much as I would LOVE to embarrass him here with photos of HIS first day of school - I do not have any.

Hey, #1 of 5... I know you read the blog. Do you have any photos of yourself on the first day of Culinary Arts School?

Left to right... #3 of 5 (6th grade), and #2 of 5 (8th grade)

Neither of these boys wanted a "first day of school" photo, but the Mother of Five was able to snap this one and only picture.

(Maybe they forget who feeds them, clothes them, and gives them shelter. Perhaps it's time for a "friendly reminder"!)

#5 of 5 on her VERY FIRST DAY of Kindergarten.

She was not too excited!

The girls... #4 and #5 of 5 - 3rd grade, and Kindergarten

#4 of 5 - First day of 3rd grade.

For all you new parents out there, enjoy it.

They grow up way to fast sometimes...

I wonder who was holding on to this day more... #5 of 5 (nervous about her first day of school) or Mother of Five (sending her youngest, and last little one at home off to school for the first time)

Baton Handed over. #4 of 5 is such a caretaker... She did a great job of watching out for her little sister.

After school... A quick photo before heading in and hearing all about the first day of school from the girls, and DRAGGING the stories about the first day of school out of the boys.

Minnesota State Fair - 2009 - Part 2 - The Details

2009-09-07T15:19:00.001-05:00

As promised in a previous post (Minnesota State Fair - 2009 - Part 1 - Photos), I will share a bit -o- the Minnesota State Fair with you all.

A day before we were going to the fair, the Mother of Five was on the phone with her mother, and we found out that we were both planning on going to the State Fair on the same day. Plans were made to drive up together, and spend at least some of the day together.

We utilized a "Park-n-Ride" and rode a very nice coach bus to the fair from the parking lot. Unfortunatly the lines were so long (as was our wait to get on the bus) that when we reached the bus, the driver told us he could take us as long as we were OK standing. We accepted the offer - and climbed aboard. Two very nice young teenage girls offered to give up their seats for my in-laws (an usual gesture in this day and age).

I'll be honest. The state fair is nothing more than a food-fest for me. 99.99% of the rest of the stuff - I could take or leave - it's just filler. People watching, and food. Food and people watching.

My "regular" diet of food fair consists of (not in any specific order) a Pronto Pup (corn dog), foot long hot dog (smothered in onions), a portion of Fried Cheese Curds, a "Wimpy" hamburger, alligator on a stick, and soda.

I arrived at the fair "hungry". Hungry for a foot long. The first booth we stopped at was the Pronto Pup stand (for the kids that did not want a foot long). Then, we scurried down the street for a round of foot longs... (Photo on previous post)

Folks, I can eat fast (it comes with my job). But I was AMAZED at the speed and efficiency #2 of 5 put away his foot long hot dog. I am not exaggerating when I say it would be more accurate to measure it in seconds than in minutes... I do not think that dog was outside his stomach for more that 59 seconds. I was afraid to get my fingers too close for fear that they may have been pulled into that vortex. YIKES!

Once we finished the pronto pups and foot longs, I disappeared down the street, and snagged some Mini Donuts for all to share for "desert". I am quite certain #5 of 5 enjoyed them more than anyone! (Photo on previous post)

Now that we all had an initial round of food in us, it was time to make our way through the rest of the fair. Home improvement building, Creative Arts Building, Marketplace, and various other points of interest.

The crowds were HUGE (Record breaking numbers for attendance this year). The smells, sounds, and sights of the fair were all around us. We made our way through the crowd, and arrived at the Stihl Chainsaws & Cabela's Ironjack Lumberjack show. We were 35 minutes early...

JUST ENOUGH TIME TO GRAB A GIANT BAG OF KETTLE KORN TO HELP KILL THE TIME!!

As we waited, we all pounded down the Kettle Korn.... Mmmm... Sweet and salty = Savory! Trust me on that! (Photo on previous post)

The Lumberjack show was good, but the same show I have seen for YEARS now. It's saving grace for me.... #5 of 5 had not yet seen it, so you could see some fascination in her face! This could very well be the last year for the lumberjack show...

After the Lumberjack show it was time to say goodbye to my in-laws. My father in law had to work that evening.

After parting ways, the rest of us continued meandering around the fair, until we reached the next mecca of foodly pilgrimage.

Cheese Curds! (Photo on previous post)

The Mother of Five took our soda cups to the Pepsi stand for refills, and I took #3 of 5 with me and we hit the Cheese Curd Booth. I picked up two containers of Cheese Curds, and snacked while we waited for the Mother of Five. By the time she arrived, she had also made a quick detour and had a container of Deep Fried Pickles to add to our greasy bounty!

That's two containers of curds, and one container of pickles, and a new round of sodas (for those out there counting)... With the addition of the pickles - there was more than enough to go around ("more than enough" being the key phrase here folks).

I did finally reach that point of realization that "I should stop now", but like any good fairgoer, I ignored that little voice of wisdom, and instead listened to the voice that said "These things cost way to much to throw away... Eat up fatty, you know you can do it!"

... Sigh...

In all reality, I most likely ate one container of curds (and a single bite of pickle - since I do not care much for pickles) by myself. Not completely unusual - many folks eat a whole container by themselves. But normally, I am not a big cheese eater, so by the time I was done my stomach was now saying (louder than the voices heard earlier) "What have you done to me?? Oh man, I am going to REALLY get you back!!"...

Which it did.

This my friends, is where my culinary delight ended. 1 foot long, some Kettle Korn, Cheese Curds, and a BITE of deep fried pickle. Within a few minutes, my gut was rolling like a California Earthquake... And folks, when you (or at least my) gut gets rolling like that, it's not long before you start feelin' down the ol' "lower G.I. tract" - if you know what I mean.

Parcopresis and Paruresis... Need I say more?

We did more shopping in the Grandstand Vendor areas, and did even more walking - which did nothing to help churn up that delightful brew that was stewing away inside of me.

As the end of our day approached, we started taking into consideration all the things the kids still wanted to do, see, and eat before we left, and then developed our exit strategy. First up. the "Haunted Mansion".

#2 of 5 is our big fan of the Haunted Mansion. He had been hounding to go in since we arrived. #3 of 5 had no interested in going in, and #5 of 5 is too small for such a fright. #4 of 5 seemed hesitant, but also seemed like she wanted to go. After much hemming and hawing, she pulled the trigger and decided to give it a try. They (#2 and #4 of 5) tried to get me to go in with them, but folks, I have a ethical duty to be honest with you - Given the way my... um.... how shall we say... "thunder down under" was intensifying - I am certain the result of going in the "Haunted Mansion" would be having to close it down, while a "Bio-spill" needed to be cleaned on the floor. So, #2 and #4 of 5 went in on their own. The both came out with a smile (although #4 of 5's smile was mixed shock and smile) - but they said they liked it! (Photo on previous post)

While waiting for the kids inside the "Haunted Mansion" - we found a spot on a bench. The Mansion was right next door to and even more frightening, even more disturbing, even more honorific venue... The MASSIVE public restroom. The constant reminder of it's presence was only overshadowed by the nightmarishly paralyzing idea of actually going in there... So, I sat and let it torture me. (Photo on previous post)

Next up on the "must do" list was cotton candy. Thankfully - the cotton candy booth was right outside the bathrooms and the "Haunted Mansion". Mother of Five bought a sack of cotton candy, and the kids (and MOF) went to town. I stayed out of the cotton candy. A.) I HATE the stuff. B.) I was still gurgling away.

Nope, no cotton candy for me.

We then made our way through the "International Bazaar", and off to the Dairy building for a peek at the butter sculptures, and a couple of shakes. One chocolate, One vanilla. Shared. Hoping the vanilla shake may help sooth my rolling digestive tract, I did manage a few spoonfuls, but I was not going to risk adding any further pressure on the "valve" where more vanilla shake would eventually end.

Final request on the way out... Deep Fried onion blossom. Normally - I would have GLEEFULLY partaken in such a delightful delicacy - but since the disaster with the cheese curds, I was down for the count. In fact, we ALL were down for the count (except #3 of 5 - who wanted the onion blossom).

After a short bout of ~~performing the Jedi Mind Trick~~ reasoning with him (promising a trip to a local restaurant where we could order one at another time, and a gentle reminder that deep fried fair food does not "fare" well in the refrigerator) we agreed to call it a day.

A quick coach bus ride back to the parking lot - and we were on our way home.

Folks, I can not believe I am saying this, but by the time we got home (about a hour away) everyone was complaining how HUNGRY they were!?!?! Mother of five wanted anything green and leafy - the kids did not care - and I wanted NOTHING to do with putting anything more in my mouth... So a quick stop at our local McDonalds - and we were home.

The kids were all exhausted, and went to bed without problems. Mother of Five and I were also exhausted - and in bed sleeping shortly after the kids.

Around 1am - unbeknownst to us - #5 of 5 had crawled into bed between us, and snuggled in (not that uncommon). What was uncommon - was vomiting noise (and smell) as the spot between us (that currently was occupied with #5 of 5) was quickly filled with semi (mostly) digested fair food.

On the up side (at least for me) was the fact that while she was laying there, she just happened to be facing the Mother of Five - so MOF got the raw end of that deal... Which left me with the delightful task of cleaning the bed while MOF cleaned #5 of 5 and herself.

The vomiting continued every two hours - WELL into the next day... We thought it was the result of the overly greasy fair food, until (just as #5 of 5 was feeling better a day later) #4 of 5 did the same thing. Only #4 of 5 did it at her school's "open house" - christening the bathroom floor for the new school year!

I guess it was not the fair food after all...

Prayers ARE heard.

2009-09-03T22:07:00.001-05:00

Father of Five rule of thumb... Do not talk about work (or talk VERY LITTLE about work) on the blog.

This post? An rare exception.

Today, as I was leaving work after sitting in a meeting all day - I entered our PSAP...

PSAP = Public Safety Answering Point - a fancy term for a 911 center
(You can see a photo of one of our workstations HERE if you are interested)

... anyway, as I entered our PSAP, it was IMMEDIATLY evident that something significant was going on.

My partners both had blank stares on their faces, and a horrified look about them. I quickly glanced over at the CAD screen, and from my vantage point, I could tell that there was a significant incident going on. It was one single call on the screen, and all but a couple of officers were on it. The screen was full of red. Red means two things on my CAD monitor. It means a unit's status is "on scene" for their call (vs "dispatched", "en-route", "arrived", or "code 4") and it means the call the officer is on is a Priority 1 call.

It is not uncommon for a large number of officers to be working a single "Priority 1" call. But the look in my partner's faces told me something was not right.

I was informed that one of our officers (actually, one of our Patrol Sergeants) was involved in an accident. This is something I hate hearing, but nothing I have not worked before... But in this case, it was one of our Motorcycle officers, and in this case, the accident was "significant".

I was told that our Sergeant was transported to the Hennepin County Medical Center. HCMC (as it is called in my world) is the closest "Level 1 trauma center".

I will not be going into any details, but the word we were receiving was... Less than reassuring.

Even though it was my scheduled time to go home, as I started gathering up my "man bag", I could hear the emotions of the dispatchers who handled the call coming to a boiling point. I plugged in, logged in, and sat down to help relieve some of the added stress. A fourth dispatcher (who was on break when this happened, and rushed back) plugged back in, and together we sent the original two out of the PSAP for a much needed, and well deserved break.

I stayed long enough to allow the two working dispatchers to regain their composure, and headed home.

My commute (a 30 minute commute) was spent in heavy prayer for my Sergeant. For his wife, and children, and parents. I prayed that he be all right, and that if at all possible the devastation of a LODD (line of duty death) pass our department by.

The Sergeant was HEAVY on my mind. I had made arrangements with my partners that ANY word be delivered to me by phone, cellular, or pager as it is made available. I held the phone in my hand awaiting news. Dinner rolled around, and I found my appetite non-existent. I went through the motions, but hung by my phone awaiting news.

About 3/4 of the way through dinner, the phone rang. The caller ID displayed "City of Bloomington". I lifted the receiver to my ear - worried about what I was going to hear...

The news was good.

Again, without getting into a lot of details, I'll say that his condition and prognosis was much better than when I had been hearing as I left work.

Prayers ARE answered...

This Sergeant and I "came up" in the department together. He was the second officer hired after I started - and we were both "green behind the gills" together. He has always been respectful of our roll as dispatchers, and both as a officer and a Sergeant - would frequently stop up and shoot the breeze with us.

I look forward to several more years of working both WITH and FOR this Sergeant, and my prayers will continue to be with him, and with his family throughout his recovery.

I also wish to commend my co-workers, who worked through a SIGNIFICANTLY traumatic event, and did so professionally. You both earned my admiration tonight!

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Links to the news coverage of the accident.

LINK 1, LINK 2, Link 3, LINK 4,

Minnesota State Fair - 2009 - Part 1 - Photos

2009-09-01T10:17:00.001-05:00

The Minnesota State Fair 2009 experience in photos.

(photos are clickable for slightly larger versions)

Our Shuttle bus dropped us off right in front of the CHS "Miracle of Birth" animal birthing center. Visitors are treated with pens and pens of animals on the verge of giving birth. If you are lucky, you MAY just get to witness a live birth... But don't fret. If you miss a live birth, you can watch one of the many prerecorded births on the numerous "jumbo Monitors placed strategically around the center.

There is NOTHING better to witness first hand, while on your way to pig out on a bunch of greasy, over the top fried foods! (gag....)

First food stop.... (Almost a) Foot Long Hot Dog - smothered in fried onions. I left the ketchup and mustard off until AFTER the photo!

Then...

Tom Thumb Mini Donuts!! Enough to share will all!

Mini donuts for #5 of 5 - the mini'est of the five!

Mmmm... I love sugar on my lips!

RICOLA!!

(Don't know what Ricloa is? Let these guys tell you!)

LINK

It's not a Minnesota event unless there is some SPAM somewhere!!

Spam hot dogs, and a Spamburger!!

(No, that was NOT on the menu for the day - although I have had a spamburger before!!)

Next up was the lumberjack show. But since it was not starting for a half hour, we found some good seats, and went...

Krazy with the Kettle Korn!

A rare glimpse of the Father of Five... (Holding the camera at arms length while taking a photo...)

Kettle Korn after we were finished!

The Next series of photos are from the Kiddy Farm - Where the wee little ones learn about farming, and how we get our food... They pretend to plant seeds, harvest crops, gather eggs (AtHomeDaddy - that middle photo is JUST FOR YOU!) take all your proceeds to market, and sell them for profit. Then you take your "profit" and get to buy an item... (Small stuffed animal, individual box of cereal, can of veggies, etc....) - which shows kids how the farm cycle works!

This photo is provided included as a result of a facebook discussion about "Texas foods served at the Minnesota State Fair"

I wonder if they serve Minnesota foods at the Texas State Fair, like Lefse?

Deep Fried Cheese Curds...

Need I say more?

And if Deep Fried Cheese Curds are not enough, try the Deep fried Pickles!!

After all that deep fried food, you have to wash it down with a Soda... I think that was the most soda #5 of 5 has ever drank in one setting..

#3 of 5 was quite intrigued with the stories written for each of the capes, and stuffed animals on the Minnesota DNR's "Wall of Shame".. Animals that were poached, and that a TIP'ster (Turn In Poachers)turned in - resulting in a conviction...

Good to see some early hunting ethics being instilled in my kids!

Left to Right... #5 of 5, Mother of Five, #3 of 5, #4 of 5, and #2 of 5.

Missing.... #1 of 5, and the Father of Five.

All the milk you can drink (white or chocolate) for a buck.

It's a "Milk Bar"!

A annual tradition... Butter busts of all the pageant winners...

Carved out of blocks of butter...

#2 of 5 and #3 of 5 were the only ones interested in going in the "Haunted Mansion".

I have in the past, but was not interested at this point due to some "Paruresis and Parcopresis related difficulties"

After the Haunted Mansion... It was a cotton candy Free-for-all!!

Right next door to the Haunted Mansion.. Was the scariest place in the whole fair... Far scarier then ANY Haunted Mansion, Haunted House, or Horror Show...

THE PUBLIC RESTROOM...

Nope, no way. Not goin' in there. WAY TO SCARY!

Photo show complete.. I had a lot more, but it gets to be daunting (resizing and labeling the photos with the blogsite)... I have a couple of stores to share - but you will have to stay tuned for those...

FOF Observation #14

2009-08-29T09:34:00.001-05:00

The Mother of Five: Oh darn, we are out of milk upstairs.

The Father of Five: (Said in my best super hero voice) No worries my darling, beautiful, wonderful wife, I will come to the rescue of our family by procuring an additional container of refreshing dairy beverage for all to enjoy!!

MOF: Sigh.... Quit the theatrics and bring up another gallon of milk please.

FOF: (Bowing my head in embarrassing shame) OK.

After reaching the basement pantry refrigerator, and grabbing a gallon of milk...

FOF: HEY MOF!! Looks like we are starting to run low on our milk supply again!

----------------------------------

Yup... That's after taking one out of the fridge, and having one empty upstairs... This is our milk supply for between a week and a half to two weeks...

Forget backyard chickens (sorry AtHomeDaddy), like I said in the previous Observation #8 - perhaps a backyard dairy cow or two would be prudent consideration at this point!

For some more older "grocery" fun, don't forget to check out Observation #5!

Thanks for stopping by!

Click2Live

2009-08-25T20:40:00.003-05:00

My dear friends, I am going to take a short break from my normally jovial nonsensical self. Please permit me to take a moment to get serious - and share a moving and important message with you.

This is a message from another father (a mentor of mine if you will), that I wish to help. It is long. PLEASE take the time to read through to the end, and absorb the message.

- - - - - - - -

CLICK2LIVE

Click2Live is a promotional campaign dedicated to the undeniable fact that seat belts save lives, and that use of seatbelts can and do prevent tragedies from happening. Tragedies that happen all to often.

It was the morning of January 15, 2006.

16 year old Brianna Vitek was driving to work when she did something most people have done at one or more point in their lives. She took off her seat belt and reached across the seat for something in her car.

That was when Brianna lost control of the vehicle and was involved in a single-car accident that ejected her from the vehicle.

As a result of the accident, Brianna was welcomed back into the loving arms of our Lord in Heaven.

Since the accident, Brianna's father has been an outspoken advocate for the use of seat-belts. He has started a campaign to prevent other families from having to suffer the same unthinkable tragedy that his family has had to endure. It was his desire turn the untimely death of his daughter into something that will make a difference in other's lives.

He was inspired to begin the Click2Live campaign.

I truly believe (through the Vitek's loss as a specific example and through my experience as a 911 dispatcher for more general examples (plural)) that this is a worthwhile cause. Far too many young people (and not-so-young-people) face untimely (and unnecessary) tragedies. Tragedies that can easily be prevented - by simply "Clicking 2 Live"

Parents speak - Mock crash enacted in attempt to warn teens of driving dangers is a link to an article of the same name where Click2Live was involved.

I am asking all who read this, to help spread the word. To help do your part in preventing another family from having to navigate the long and difficult road the Vitek's have had to.

Who knows, the tragedy you may help prevent may be your own.

Most of my readers are parents. Parents of older (driving) children like the Vitek's, and parents of younger children - infants, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary age, and junior high school aged children - Children who will one day grow to be bright, intelligent, and delightful 16-year olds - much like Brianna. Children who could make the same mistake that Brianna did.

Can YOU imagine loosing your daughter, or your son to an accident that could be survivable had they simply "Clicked 2 Live"?

- - - - - - - -

Now, a little bit of a personal story that relates to the Click2Live campaign...

Back when the Father of Five that you have come to know and love was nothing more than a snot nosed freshman in high school, and bordering on turning to the "dark side" - he heard about a camping trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness sponsored by the Church's Youth Ministry Program.

After expressing an interest in attending this trip with a classmate (who I grew up with - and had older brothers involved in the Youth Group), this friend suggested I come to "Youth Group" to get to know some of the other kids going on the trip.

After that first meeting, I was quickly accepted into the group of teens. and made many friends. I also established a solid friendship with the Youth Minister. This Youth Minister had a way of connecting with the kids in a wonderful way. I am not sure I can put a finger on it - but if I had to explain it - I would say that he had a way of operating both within the group of youth in the program, and as a leader to the youth of the program. He was someone I could turn to as a friend and yet, look up to as a mentor at the same time.

Over my four (high school) years of involvement in the NYG (our acronym for Nativity Youth Group) my connection with both my friends, and with the Youth Minister strengthened. Many of the friends I made those four years, are friends I still have today. Truly lifelong friendships.

Sadly, the final year of my involvement with NYG was also his final year. It was time that he was moving on, and moving up. By this time, my life was on track, and well on it's way to becoming the man I am today (due in part to his inspiration and motivation). After High School - I moved up and on to college - and lost contact with my former Youth Minister.

Several years ago, his name came up in the local news. His family suffered an unthinkable tragedy. He and his family have been in my thoughts and prayers many times through the years. Through his faith in God, and fortitude as a man, and a father - he has made something good come from of one of the worst things a parent can imagine.

It is on behalf of all that he has done for me over the years, and respect I have for him as a man, as a father, as a friend,and respect for his faith in God that this post is dedicated to him. To his family.

To the loving memory of his daughter - Brianna.

But what can I do FOF? What can I do to help spread the word?

What you can do, what I am asking, URGING, and PLEADING my readers to do is to please take a minute to join the Click2Live campaign. Help spread the word that tragedies like that of Brianna Vitek can be avoided.

Click2Live is a facebook page. It can be found by clicking on any of the many CLICK2LIVE links on this post. If you are a facebook user, please help spread the word by becoming a fan of the Click2Live campaign.

By joining Click2Live, you can request a sheet of 25 Click2Live window clings. 1 inch square reminders that cling to the inside of the corners of your windshield - to remind you, to remind your passengers, the importance of Click2Live.

A Click2Live hyperlinked button will be added as a permanent addition to the sidebar here on "The Life of a Father of Five". If you are so inclined, I would be forever grateful to anyone willing to add a button, a link, or post linking to this post, or to the Click2Live facebook page on their blog to help spread the word, and to do your part in helping to prevent even one such tragedy.

If you choose to help by adding a button, link, or post - please, leave me a comment, and I will edit this post to include a link back to your blog - as being one of the many people interested in being part of the solution.

Remember folks. It's simple. Click 2 Live. It's that easy. It's that important.

BLOGS LINKING TO CLICK2LIVE OR THIS POST - (Please consider adding your blog to this list!)

The Life of a Father of Five

The World of Weasles

Back to School (and not like you think).

2009-08-24T18:19:00.001-05:00

I have previously mentioned that there are some upcoming good things happening in the life of #1 of 5 (besides my cleaning his dishes) - and (like any good story teller, or mediocre blogger would do) I asked you to stay tuned for further info.

The time has come for me to share the "further info"

After a two year hiatus (filled with shenanigans, tomfoolery, and hyjinx of all sorts) #1 of 5 has (hopefully) seen the light, and come to the realization that post secondary education IS INDEED a good thing. As of 8am this morning, he is (supposed to have) STARTED SCHOOL AGAIN!!!

I say "supposed to have" because - I have not heard any confirmation that he has actually went, nor have I heard any evidence to the contrary. I'm sticking with the whole "no news is good news" theory on this one..

Since sometime in his junior / senior year, he has expressed a strong interest in the Culinary Arts. He finished all the necessary / required classes early, and his whole final quarter was filled with elective classes. The one he enjoyed the most, was his Culinary Arts class - and for those of you who have not been around for the two (+) years since I wrote about it - check THIS LINK out!

#1 of 5 has been talking about going to school for Culinary Arts for quite some time, but until recently, it has been nothing more than "lip service".

We did know he went to the school and got some paperwork to fill out - but much like the paperwork he has for many other items... I figured it would lay around a desk, counter, or table until it was spilled on, and then forgotten and thrown away...

But, I was surprised... PLEASENTLY SURPRISED, BOARDERING ON SHOCKED when he stopped out to see us last week (he is still "communicationally challenged (i.e. no telephone)) and told us that he starts school on Monday.

Monday?! As in four days from now Monday?? As in August 24th Monday?? As in 2009??

Folks, you would not have been able to imagine my surprise (and pride) to hear this. He did everything independently!! All on his own. He registered, was accepted, took placement tests, applied for financial aid, received financial aid, signed up for classes, and was going to start school in FOUR DAYS - and we did not even know about it!!!

Note to #1 of 5... Um, we need to talk man. We need to talk a bit about keeping your parents "in the loop" with what is going on - especially the good stuff - a bit more often... But, since this is such surprisingly good news - I'll let it slide this time...

Congratulations there big guy!! We could not be prouder!!

Readers... Keep an eye out for an up and coming star in the world of culinary arts! Who knows, maybe a show on food network, or his own restaurant... Heck, ~~if he keeps the kitchen cleaner than he does at home~~ I may have to patronize the place!! Mmmm... Maybe even some prizes or awards for my readers here on FOF!!

"Free dinner for two at Chez #1 of 5's" for the best idea for a new menu item left for me as a comment - or something like that!

Imagine the possibilities!!

Details FOF... Gimme some Details!

Ok... Details..

Here is a link to Hennepin Technical College (the school he is attending)..

Here is a link to the Culinary Arts Program. It goes into much more detail about what he will be doing / studying / learning / etc... (Oh, and by the way... He is setting his goal on the A.A.S degree and not just the certificate!)

And, finally - a "gratuitous" link back to HIS GRADUATION back in 2007 - to help provide a little "inspiration" to see this through to the end (and maybe embarrass him just a wee bit).

Seriously though... We could not be happier or prouder of you! Keep up the forward momentum!! You have it within you!!

UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!

While writing this post, #1 of 5's facebook was updated! It stated.... "feels good to be done with the first day of college classes time to relax now"

WOO-HOO!!! HE MADE IT!!!!!

Forests, Trees, and Public Restrooms

2009-08-19T10:10:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, it's difficult to see the forest through the trees - just like how sometimes it's difficult to see the obvious through the anxiety...

FOF, what are you talking about?? Are you ok? Did you forget to take your meds again?

No... I am not going crazy - even though in some ways - maybe - I'm already there... Take, for instance, a couple of little phobias like Parcopresis, and Paruresis.

Regular visitors are accustomed to reading about these phobias of mine. If you do not know what they are, please follow the links provided.

Under "normal" circumstances - these are not really a big problem for me. I have come up with my own "coping" techniques, and for 99% of the time it's not even something I even think about, as it never really "becomes" an issue (thanks to those coping mechanisms I just spoke of).

Yet, there is still that 1% of the time that coping mechanisms are not effective, or not practical. Take for example - last week...

I had my day planned - and so I did not expect to run into any "problems" - but when the day's plans changed, and I had to add a trip to Target, dinner out, and a last minute stop at Sam's Club after I got off duty (without a chance to stop at home) - my struggles with parcopresis reared it's ugly head.

I'll save you all the "details" (don't all thank me at once), but let's take up this story at the point we were at Sam's - when I was telling the Mother of Five that we would not be able to stay long... No, not long at all. In fact, we should probably have left about 20 minutes ago (it's a 20 minute drive home).

In other words... Things are getting pretty bad!

That's when the clouds parted, and a ray of sunshine from the heavens shown down upon me. It was when the Mother of Five said... "Why don't you just use the "FAMILY ROOM". They have one here, and It has a lock on the door".

(Blank stair on my face... Crickets chirping...)

Hmm... The family room. I can be alone. The Doors lock. Solitude. Hmmm... Well, maybe... I'll keep it in the back of my mind it case of an "emergency".

Less than five minutes later - I was making a bee-line for the "Family Room".

When I arrived at the "Family Room", I (thankfully) found it unoccupied. As I entered, and verified that the door did indeed have a lock on it, I was hit with the instantly recognizable and overbearing odiferous evidence of an eighty-something year old woman who doused herself with an overly heavy layer of "ode-de-grandmother" (or other similarly scented perfume, splash, spray, or powder that is frequently found on the grandmotherly among us). You know the smell.. the ones that make you INSTANTLY think "Grandma !!")

Which, by the way, sounds like I am referring to it as a "bad thing". For clarity... I AM NOT. I both love and miss my grandmothers so very much... It's that reason that makes this scent stand out so much... It reminds me of my own grandmothers.

I was immediately creepd out by the fact that "Nah-nuh", "Grammy" (or what ever cute pet name her grandchildren called the woman who last used this room) may have left only moments before. Heck, the seat may still be "warm". (~shiver~)

I also continued to try and remind myself that the voice in my head that was saying these oddly weird and disturbing ideas was coming from a place that is a bit "out-of-whack".

From the moment I opened the door, until the the whole ordeal was nothing more than a bad memory - my skin was tingling with anxiety (and not in a good way)... It almost brought me to tears... I was actually having a conversation with "that voice", and repeatedly told myself that the "voice" was being irrational, and that everything was going to be o.k.

In the end, I was able to successfully complete the mission (or at least partially), and was able to buy myself enough time until I could relax in the safety of my own bathroom...

FOF... Seriously... What is the matter with you... I really think there is something wrong with you. Why would you share this with us?

Well, for a couple reasons... First and foremost - after I was able to calm down the "rational" and "healthy" side of my brain kicked in - and I started seeing the humorous side of all of this... How ridiculous it all is... I even started chuckling to and at myself! OUT LOUD! I hope YOU did too!

Secondly... I wanted to point out that through the anxiety, how I was unable to spot the obvious... And only through having the Mother of Five point it out to me, did I even consider the possibility that, in the worst of emergencies (and I have been there a few times) there may be a possibility.

Thirdly - I realized that by thinking through this process, I was able to see that IN THE WORST CASES, I am able to triumph over my own psychological struggles. That even though it's a pretty strange phobia to have, things could be worse... That I am (maybe) only HALF CRAZY!

Finally - You would be amazed at the number of hits I get here for people searching out parcopresis and paruresis. Maybe someone will hit on this post - and by my telling this story I can share the compromise that I myself could not see without it being pointed out... The whole "If this post could help at least ONE person, then the shame, humiliation, and embarrassment of sharing it with the world would all be worthwhile." type of thought...

A Little Treat

2009-08-17T11:53:00.001-05:00

During a particularly long work weekend, I did something that I do not often do...

I "treated" myself to dinner while at work.

I was working back to back 7am - 7pm shifts (which means that breakfast, lunch and dinner are at work). Only being allowed one meal break (on a day where I am really eating three meals at work) - I broke down, and last night took my break to go pick up some "take out".

If (and when) I do this (which is pretty infrequently) - it usually involves a quick drive to a "national chain" that offers a drive-though, and something both quick and cheap off a menu often affectionately referred to as the "dollar menu", "value menu", or "super-saver menu"... These meals are often followed up with a "super-sized" serving of regret, and feeling similar to having a "biggie-sized" rock sitting in my gut.

Not last night though. No, I stepped out of the norm a bit, and tried a place I've been meaning to try for quite some time. A place that I would not normally rush off to.. The FALAFEL KING.

What is a falafel you ask? A falafel is a fried ball (or sometimes a patty) made from spiced chickpeas and/or fava beans.

And no Agent Starling... I did not add any liver from a census taker, nor were they eaten with a nice chianti... But thanks for asking though...

Those of you who know me well enough will attest, a vegetarian I am not... So to satisfy the carnivore within me - I went with the Gyro / Falafel Combo. This way - I got to try the falafel (which I have never had before) with one of my regular favorites... The Gyro!

In addition to the falafel, and the loose fillings for the Gyro - the combo came with two freshly made (and still warm) pitas (to make the gyros with), a generous portion of hummus, and both tahini and tzatziki sauces.

Both the tahini and tzatziki were WONDERFUL, and the hummus was good too - but I am not overly fond of hummus... A little goes a long way for me. I put a little bit on - but it was the tahini and tzatziki that really stole the sauce show!

Afterwards, I discovered THIS REVIEW of Falafel King. I found it to be pretty accurate to my experience.

As delicious as it was, on Monday it's back to "PB & J" for me though... Oh well.. Such is The Life of a Father of Five!!

Clarification

2009-08-11T06:59:00.004-05:00

Posted as a follow up to the previous post titled "Beginning with the Ending"

It was brought to my attention that this post could have been viewed as mean, nasty, embarrassing, and not funny. Just to clear things up here...

For those of you who did not catch it through the writing style... That post was written with exaggerated satire.

Two days after I wrote that post we stopped over to "surprise" #1 of 5 with a "housewarming care package".

We brought him four bags of groceries, kitchen staples, and some fun treats to stock up his kitchen with and his grandparents stopped by with a new "Bed in a Bag" (comforter, sheets, and a pillow cover)... and as you can see by the photos and the video - the place was very clean...

Even cleaner than I left it two days prior.

So, in case there is any question in anyone's mind about how proud I am of #1 of 5 and the accomplishments he has made through the difficulties life has thrown him - LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR...

I have stood up with and by this young man through some very difficult times and some very difficult struggles... Things that have broken more families than have stayed together... Things that I REFUSED to allow to destroy MY family.

VERY FEW COULD BE, OR ARE PROUDER OF #1 of 5's ACCOMPLISHMENTS THAN I AM.

There are some impending wonderful things on the horizon for #1 of 5... Many of these things will end up as future posts (when they become reality) - and who knows?? Some may be written with humor or satire...

Regarding the evening I wrote about in "Beginning with the Ending"...

#2 of 5 and I stopped by #1 of 5's new place one evening as we drove past it. We arrived to find the place a little messy. No messier than my (or most folks houses) get from time to time. While I enjoyed watching my boys played video games (and enjoying each other's company) together and I puttered around the apartment - cleaning and straightening. The three of us were all chuckling as I made wisecracks about the things I was straightening. ALL... THREE... OF... US...

The kitchen did contain a couple of days dishes in the sink (and they were gross), but it was no worse than my own sink has gotten from time to time (and I even have a dishwasher).

How I'd love to have had as cool a place as he does at his age! (That is why I keep stopping by and hanging out with him.) I did not move out on my own until I was 23 years old. He is doing a wonderful job establishing himself as an independent individual - and I am very proud of him (regardless of what the post in question may or may not have you believing).

That post was written as an extension of the fun banter that my two oldest boys and I shared the evening before. We had fun joking about it together. I had fun writing it. I hoped that folks had fun reading it.

In NO WAY should anyone take what they read in that post as complete reality.

That's how I view life, and (like the title of the blog states) "The Life of a Father of Five" (as viewed through MY eyes.)

I'll leave you with this final thought about that post, and my sometimes exaggerated, sarcastic, satirical way of viewing life.... (and I am disabling comments for this post).

Just as how "one person's trash is another person's treasure" - one person's version of fun and humor may not always be another's.

And I am thankful for that...